Adult dating sites

Featured

With a few hundred adult sex dating websites online in the United states of America plus Canada alone plus other internet websites being built weekly, it may be difficult to pick the perfect dating website for yourself. These vast alternatives to choose from usually are too much to handle.

Brand new sex dating web sites appears so freely. Deciding upon better adult sex dating internet websites can often be complex. New sex personals web-sites assist you to take a crack at the  online dating features before making a financial commitment. These adult sex dating websites lets you check out some of the  online dating sites to be able to find out which provides the best options in your case to make contact with persons.

Continue reading

Your Questions About Adult Halloween Costume

Richard asks…

What to be for halloween if you don’t have your top front teeth?

I was recently lost my top front 4 teeth (as an adult) and I wanted to know an appropriate halloween costume where my missing teeth can be helpful for my costume…any ideas help. thanks guys!

adultdatingexpert answers:

You can try The Exorcist theme

it will definitely suit your broken tooth

see this pic

Laura asks…

What halloween costume would use brown feather eyelashes?

I recently bought these big brown feather eyelashes from a vintage type store…and I want to use them in this year’s halloween costume, but i’m not sure what costume would require them. Any suggestions would be great. Someone said a flapper…kind of over that. All I have is a bird so far…haha or Edie Sedgwick? She was pretty ferosh. Thanks ;) .

p.s. I am a young woman…and I take risks, in the fashion department.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Something like pocahontas ..

Or

http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/neverland-elf-sexy-adult-costume

Joseph asks…

Are there any costume stores in Guadalajara that sell premade costumes for adults?

I am not interested in making my own Halloween costume or having someone make one for me and I already know Walmart has a few things.

Please only answer if you have an answer to my actual question: Costume shop. Adult sizes. Pre-made. Guadalajara.

Thank you for your help.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes there is a couple of stores. One is in Avenida Vallarta near the Universidad de Guadalajara office that is called “La Magia de Granel”

There is another one in “Plaza del Angel” near Plaza del Sol in Lopez Mateos Avenue

Good Luck

Jenny asks…

Where can I buy the Dallas Cowboys metallic silver-green pants they where on gamedays?

I am making a halloween costume for an adult male, i already purchased the aikman jersey, now i want the metallic silver-green pants they wear as part of their uniform for home games to help complete the outfit. Anyone know where i can buy these pants for an adult?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Why do they wear metallic silver-green pants on home game days when their colors are silver and blue?

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Sex And The City Quotes

Daniel asks…

How many teabaggers are standing in line for Government H1N1 vaccine?

yeah I know what a teabagger is.
They hold up signs a rant like crazy people.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Heck, how many tea-baggers collect social security or medicare? Probably half if the link below is any measure!

Check out this amusing link: http://www.politico.com/blogs/glennthrush/0809/How_many_of_you_oppose_governmentrun_health_care.html and the associated video. Here’s a quote:

… An audience member takes control of Rep. Gene Green’s (D-Texas) town hall event on health care, asking for a show of hands in the audience of “how many of you oppose any form of socialized or government-run health care?”

The audience cheers and they all raise their hands.

Then Green shoots back: “How many of you have Medicare?”

A good number of hands go up from the same audience.

Medicare, alas, is government-run health care.

———– update ———–

@Tim: Yeah, I learned all about that definition from Samantha on a “Sex and the City” episode years ago. That’ why it’s funny to apply the term to this particular group of protesters! Funnier still, originally they embraced the term!! But the definition has changed or expanded. The way we use a word creates its meaning, and this is now the majority use of the word teabagger.
.

John asks…

Why do SOME Women act like arrogance & being Condescending is a Compliment to Men?

Seriously, I cannot remember the last time I witnessed a man cat-calling. I think it was perhaps sometime in the mid 1980s.

I do, however, see women publicly putting men down, presumably as part of some bizarre mating ritual. Women say that “men like the chase,” but nobody likes to be continually insulted. Yet women act like men prefer to be mocked at every encounter.

Why do you suppose this is so?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Women are becoming more and more narcissistic:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html

Excerpt:

(quote)”‘I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they’re too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.
‘But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It’s a way of rationalising things. It’s as if it’s easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality – that they are completely ordinary.’”(quote)

…It seems that many women these days really think they are better than men. …And it’s because of things that are very ordinary. You hear women say things like: “I’m a strong woman and I don’t need a man to support me.” …Which would have been something of interest perhaps in the 1950s… But it’s now 2010. …Get over yourself. What you are describing is completely normal and ordinary.

And I also hear women talk about how “independent” they are as if not being in a serious relationship somehow makes them cooler or better than people in relationships.

Some of these women might just be a lot happier in a relationship if there wasn’t the strange new dynamic that “independence” = “cool.”

And look at modern advertising. …How many times do you see the word “Diva” or “goddess?”

Narcissism is running rampant with modern women, so that’s why you see the arrogance and condescending attitudes.

One of these days they’ll realize that having a job and being single and copying the lifestyle of the “Sex and The City” girls doesn’t make them “goddesses.” Hopefully it won’t take too long.

Lisa asks…

whats that quote by charlotte york in the first sex and the city movie?

it’s the one where they are all talking and she says something about being happy every day maybe not all day every day but every day….. i cant remember exactly what it was though and its my favorite quote in the whole movie. if you could help me out that would be amazing

adultdatingexpert answers:

Samantha Jones: Relationships aren’t just about being happy. I mean, how often are you happy in your relationship?
Charlotte York: Every day.
Samantha Jones: Every day?
Charlotte York: Well, not all day every day but yes, every day.

Mandy asks…

What exactly does the bible say about gay people ?

what does the bible say about gay ppl ? and i heard that god is against this is this true ? and if so why ? Please go in detail.

adultdatingexpert answers:

@boomn4x42
You only just gave a quote from the Bible, without any more explanation. Try again next time.

Yes, the Bible/Torah/Koran did mention that having sex with a man is not a good thing, as you cannot make babies that way. Back then, procreating was of utmost importance for increasing the population, especially the population of your religious group. By today’s standards, I think the “necessity” of procreating has waned, considering the rate of population growth we now have compared to thousands of years ago.
In Genesis, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is well known for God destroying the cities (plus the others not as mentioned) because the citizens of Sodom wanted to rape the angels that resided in Lot’s house. Now, back in the day there was a belief you should take care of strangers that asked for shelter because they could be God in disguise. In this case, the angels who are extensions of God, were treated terribly by the citizens of Sodom because they wanted to rape them. Lot even offered his 2 daughters in place of the angels, not really considering their feelings in the matter, by the way. That being said, Sodom and Gomorrah has nothing to do with homosexuality, but with unhospitality. Yes, the story suggests that the citizens were homosexual, but that is irrelevant to the main issue to the fact that they were trying to rape the angels. Homosexual people only desire to have sex with a consenting partner. They do not rape heterosexual people. They are not pedophiles, who have sex with children without consent, and most of the time with the opposite sex (i.e. Older men with little girls).

Also, take into the fact that the original writings of the Bible could have been forgotten, changed and mistranslated over the hundreds of years, so you have to be careful what to believe or not.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Adult Acne

Steven asks…

Sudden Adult Acne?

My skin hasn’t alway been great, but I’ve never had bad acne. All of a sudden over the last few months I’ve been getting large cyst-like pimples on my cheeks and near my nose. They hurt and they are ugly and leave a purplish scar. What can I do? Health ins. won’t go into effect until Jan so not going to the dermatologist right now but need to do something now! I can’t deal with my skin looking like this for all the holiday gatherings. I have been super stressed, more stressed than a person should be, could that be causing this and what can I do? Any help??? Oh, I’m 26 so it’s not a teenage/hormonal thing.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Like you, I never had proper acne as a teenager but started getting it when I was 29. At 32 I had an ovary removed because of a cyst and the acne cleared up. I got another bout of it years later at menopause so I think it must be hormone-driven. Stress would help to make you spotty too, but your problem sounds like mine. Spots were big and very painful, more like boils than ordinary pimples with a core. They were under the skin rather than raised and contained just watery pus and blood. They left a deep hole which took ages to heal up and scarred. I think your doctor could give you a wide-spectrum antibiotic for acne to look after you for the time being. When your insurance kicks in, go to a specialist and get it sorted out.

Sandy asks…

Adult Acne?

How do you unclog pores and get rid of blackheads? Proactive didn’t help. I gave up when it didn’t work after 3 months.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I have oily skin and get pimples when I’m about to get my period or when I am under a lot of stress. For me, washing my face twice a day with a cleanser that contains salicylic acid (like Neutrogena Acne Stress Control) has worked quite well (benzoil peroxide should work too). Start by splashing your face with very warm water to open your pores, then lather in the cleanser well and rinse with cold water to help close your pores. You can follow with an astringent for oily or combination skin. That helps cleanse skin deeper and keep it oil free longer. Use moisturizers, sunblock and make up designed for acne prone skin and never use products that are too emollient. Try to exfoliate your skin twice a week to remove dead skin that helps dirt and grease stay inside your pores to create black heads. St. Ives has their famous apricot scrub for acne prone skin. Don’t exfoliate too harshly or too often as that can actually cause flare ups. Mud/ Clay masks used regularly (once a week) also help deep clean your skin, decrease poor size and add glow instead of grease. Also, glycolic acid and retin A work wonders and have been proven to control pimples and blackheads, as well as reduce scars caused by acne. There are cleansers and creams available at Sephora, drug stores and beauty supplies and you can get stronger peels via a dermatologist or spa. Oh, and never ever go to sleep with your make up on or use regular soap on your face. Also, diet and sleep do matter, so eat healthy, ingest a lot of greens and veggies, drink plenty of water and try to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

Its not unusual for young adults to present acne, even into their late 30s. If your acne is very severe and nothing seems to work or you want quicker results, go to a dermatologist. Accutane and hormone blockers are very efficient for acne, but almost exclusively available via prescription.

Richard asks…

Help…Adult Acne?

I’m 23 and I still have problems with acne. I thought this should have stopped by now.

adultdatingexpert answers:

If you’re looking for accurate acne information, best to see a dermatologist. Some people believe doctors are predisposed to take the easy way to deal with acne… prescription drugs. But, with many, this simplistic answer may not be the appropriate course of action. Some feel that such prescription drugs just treat the symposium and not the underlying cause. But, a local dermatologist is still your best starting point.

For me personally, I discovered a great informational acne treatment site. Not only is there good information/articles but I got their audio e-book and following it’s advice can now say that my acne is a thing of the past! Keep in mind, were all different and there are various types of acne, so what works for some may not be totally effective for all.

Bottom line, hang in there, you will get past this! Sincere best wishes and good luck.
Oh, by the way the site that helped me is:

http://www.acne-treatment-medicine-1.info

http://www.medical-research-study-directory.info/

http://www.lasik-surgery-san-diego.info/

http://www.san-diego-dentist.us

http://www.san-diego-plastic-surgery-cosmetic-surgery-doctors.us/

Laura asks…

getting rid of adult acne?

how to get rid of adult acne

adultdatingexpert answers:

Niacinamide pads work on adult acne, they helped me, I am 25.
Niacinamide face cleansing pads are an effective and simple way to keep acne away. Just place a pad on the pimple and watch it fade away. Lavender Oil helps prevent skin drying. Niacinamide also helps diminish skin-hyperpigmentation (acne scars)
Niacinamide pads are also known as Vitamin B3 pads or Nicotinamide pads. Works on body acne too.
Give them a try and you will be pleasantly surprised.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Sex Pistols

Susan asks…

What is a good gay anime series with masculine guys?

Im looking for one that has a lot of episodes since two of the 3 I’ve watched so far only had two episodes. I’ve already seen Fake, sex pistols, and junjou romantica. Also I would like for it to be rather romantic.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I think all Japanimation is gay, but I think Bleach has some masculine guys.

Charles asks…

What kind of music do you mostly listen to?

I mostly listen to classic rock (Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, The Doors, ACDC…) or oldschool punk (Raomes, Sex Pistols, The Clash…). Also some newer rock, like System of a Down, Billy Talent, Nirvana, ect.

Anyone like the same music as me?
What else do you listen to?
Fall Out Boy sucks. Errr so does Avril. Shes a poser.
Also, its the BEATLES.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I listen to the same stuff you do. I am a huge Led Zeppelin fan. I love oldschool punk as well. Joan Jett would probably have to be one of my favorite artists. I love to listen to Pearl Jam, the Chilli Peppers, and Dave Matthews Band. I like some rap, country, and r n b. Not to mention I do enjoy classical music as well.

Mark asks…

What is some good punk rocks bands and/or songs?

I already listen to The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Misfits & a few more but you can still suggest songs from them! Thanks!

adultdatingexpert answers:

HELL YEAH!

Older stuff:
sex pistols only had one album, so if ya have nvm the bullocks, your set
dead kennedys
subhumans
the germs
the cramps
joe strummer and the mescaleros
new york dolls
operation ivy
minor threat
black flag

newerish (as in not the bands that kept punk going, not creating it):
social distortion
nofx
rancid
descendents
ALL
bad religion
pennywise
flogging molly
horrorpops
nekromantix
tiger army
distillers
bouncing souls
lars fredericksen and the bastards

check out some of the punk-o-rama albums. The older the better.
Hope it helps

oh and dont forget hannah montana. Definitly a defining artist of punk music. So real. So rad. So punk.

Joseph asks…

What’s the difference between an anarchist and a rebel?

I know what a rebel is and have an idea of what an anarchist is (love anarchy in the uk by sex pistols)

adultdatingexpert answers:

A rebel is somebody who deliberately likes to break the rules for whatever reason. An anarchist is a pasty-white suburbanite who has never had any experience with true human nature.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Adultery

Betty asks…

With respect to Sharia law, how does jesus handle the question of a woman found in adultery?

Compare this when jesus finds a woman caught in adultery about to be stoned to death and intervenes.

adultdatingexpert answers:

The account is recorded in John 8:3-11: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’ They were using this question as a trap in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no-one condemned you?’ ‘No-one, sir,’ she said. ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin’.”

The sin of adultery cannot be committed alone, so the question arises as to why only the woman was brought forward. However, the woman’s accusers were not interested in justice – they wanted to trap Jesus. Also, according to Mosaic Law, stoning to death was not prescribed unless the woman was a betrothed virgin (Deuteronomy 22:23-24) and both parties had to be put to death (Deuteronomy 22:22 and Leviticus 20:10). It is noteworthy that the Romans did not allow the Jews to carry out the death sentence (John 18:31) so if Jesus had said to stone her, he could have been in trouble with the Roman authorities. If he had said not to stone her, he could have been in trouble with the religious authorities.

Without condoning what the woman did, Jesus knew that her accusers were all guilty of sin, that is without any sin, not without the specific sin of adultery. We are all, each and every one of us, sinful and in no position to accuse anybody else. This is a Bible-based principle – only God can judge and only God and Jesus can forgive sin. It is not up to humans to judge and condemn others.

I don’t know how Sharia law treats women who are found in adultery (or how they treat the man also involved), but I suspect that mercy may be lacking.

Sharon asks…

Can one commit adultery during separation?

My husband is STILL having sex with someone else. Before we were seperated (i know that is adultery). But now that we are seperated is it still cosidered adultery and can I still file it as grounds for divorce?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Unless you can prove he was having an affair before you got separated, you’re out of luck. And by proof I mean solid concrete evidence, not that you saw a girl’s number on his cell phone. A judge won’t even look at that.

As for after you got separated, it’s not adultery. When you get separated it’s an understanding that you have both left the marriage and intend to divorce. The normal “laws” of marriage no longer apply and you are both free to date whomever you want.

Normally the ones who say it is adultery are the ones who were left and don’t want to get divorced. They still consider themselves to be in a marriage even though their spouse has left. The difference is that they are only married on paper. The “real” things that made up that marriage (love, trust, living together, etc) no longer exist.

Michael asks…

What makes homosexual behavior different from fornication and adultery?

If you assert that premarital sex and adultery are wrong, you’re okay, but if you assert that sex between two people of same gender is wrong, you’re a “bigot,” “hatemonger,” “homophobe,” etc., Gay sex, fornication, and adultery are all exactly the same to me and I don’t understand how objections to gay sex are any more sadistic than objections to the other two sexual behaviors. Can anyone explain this distinction?

adultdatingexpert answers:

None of that is wrong.

I used to go to conservative churches that teach that abstinence crap, and I learned that the leaders of these churches actually crack jokes about 30 and 40 year-old virgins behind their backs. Now I just send my Christian friends to the site below which debunks the whole thing against premarital sex in the Bible. It covers same-sex lifestyles too. I hope it helps you.

Sandra asks…

What’s the difference between adultery and having a concubine?

Many men in the OT have wives and concubines. What’s the difference between having concubines and committing adultery?

Here’s an example, Solomon had wives and concubines:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Kings%2011:3&version=NIV

adultdatingexpert answers:

At that time, adultery meant you were having an affair with a woman under some other man’s control: a wife or an unmarried daughter. Concubines and multiple wives were both acceptable – as long as they were under your legal control, you could have as many of them as you wanted and it wouldn’t be adultery. It was only generations later that marriage became a one man – one woman relationship, and the definition of adultery changed accordingly.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Sex Offender Registry

David asks…

Does Brazil have a Sex Offender Registry?

Please do NOT comment with trash talk. We’re here to ask and answer questions only!!! And please do NOT ask me a question and expect me to answer you back on here. The question is a simple one. Does Brazil have a Sex Offender Registry? If so, how can I find the link online??

adultdatingexpert answers:

Brazil does have a sex offender registry, unfortunately is NOT an online registry, different countries have different laws

Nancy asks…

Christopher’s Law (Sex Offender Registry)?

Can someone please explain to me the Christopher’s Law (Sex Offender Registry). What propose does it serve and why was in put into play.

adultdatingexpert answers:

It requires offenders to register as such and if they move, they have to register in their new location and let the police in their old location. It is like probation where you do not have to report unless you move.

Richard asks…

sex offender registry question?

I’m very angry about trying to find a safe place to live for our little ones. I’ve been looking on the US national map for registered sex offenders for the area I plan to move to and they’re of course everywhere.

What upsets me though is that I recently discovered that
a. johns that get busted in prostitution stings
b. anybody who’s ever made an unwanted invitation for a date and gets charged with sexual harrassment (so that creepy dude in your office who asks you out in the parking lot if you’d be interested in coffee or whatever)

all get lumped in together with the pedos! WTF! How am I as a parent supposed to use the resulting list to help me pick a community then? Who’s stupid idea was it to put the johns and social retards together with serious criminals who may actually be interested in toddlers? This doesn’t seem to be helpful at all. Does anybody understand this better who can explain it? Is there a tiered system? I can’t seem to find a way of separating the offenders on the national list map for my destined area. Perhaps it is my understanding that needs to change, but I don’t think that these are the same types of people at all and consequently it appears to make the registry useless for the people it should benefit – parents. Perspectives, please?

adultdatingexpert answers:

You are correct, the sex offender registry is very misleading. Most are not a danger to your children. Of the offenders that are a danger, the vast majority establish trusting relationships with children before they prey on them. Abductions by strangers make up only a fraction of a percent of crimes against children.

Regardless of where you live, the best protection is to educate your children about the dangers of talking to people they don’t know and to encourage them to talk about any questionable contacts they have. The second one is equally important, as these predators make the kids feel ashamed and convince them they will be the ones that get in trouble if they tell anyone.

Mark asks…

Is the Sex Offender Registration unconstitutional?

First of all, there are different types of Sex Offenders that people don’t want to separate from the each others. For example, one Sex Offender has a thing for molesting children (ages 1-13) and the other Sex Offender just got caught up in a bad situation such as a minor (14-17 Texas law) who decides to lie about her age just to have an older man. And YES IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME!!!! So, before you comment, you need to understand that one type of Sex Offender is completely worse then the other one.

Anyhow, I have a brother that I love and have much respect for. He talked to a girl for a few weeks via internet and phone before they finally met. At the time that they met, she told him that she was 19. He was 25 at the time also so that isn’t a big age difference. Well, he finally met up with the girl and spent the whole day with her. I’m not actually sure what they did sexually but I know they had intercourse at the end of the night. Well, I guess the girls parents came home and saw him in the house and got extremely mad. That’s when the whole age thing came out. He found out that she was 15. He showed the text messages to the parents where the girl told him she was 19 but they still had him arrested. Well, he accepted his punishment for his role in it. He ended up getting a 8 year “Deferred Probation”. Of course he has to register as a Sex Offender through the term of his probation. I can understand that. I just don’t understand why the government can force SOME people to register as Sex Offenders for LIFE!! After he completes his Deferred Probation. His case will be dismissed. The sad part is that he is still being punished because he still has to deal with the Sex Offender shit! It seems as if he can never move on with his life because the law won’t let him. I hate seeing him this miserable but I know he isn’t a pedophile!! He wasn’t told that he would have to register for life when the court first put him on probation. I think this is a bit too extreme and very stressful for one person to have to deal with for the rest of their life when they have already served their punishment. Is this really cruel and unusual?

This message is for the people with common sense. If you’re under 21, don’t answer this question. I want mature minded opinions only!!

No offense but if you have been sexually assaulted in any way, please don’t answer this question. I don’t want any bitter opinions either!! Sorry…

Please email me so I can actually respond to any questions you may have. Thanks.

riddlaakaklu @ yahoo.com

adultdatingexpert answers:

The sex offender registry system needs some pretty serious changes. People who are branded sex offenders for the rest of their lives for what are, quite simply, minor sex related crimes, is not right. Especially when age of offender/victim is taken into account. Violent offenders, like rapists or status offenders, like child molesters who are adults, need to be monitored. But the kid who was drunk off his ass at a party who takes advantage of a girl who is drunk off her ass, absolutely he should be punished with jail time. But sex offender registry for the rest of his life? That’s a little extreme.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Adult Add

Susan asks…

If you have been diagnosed with depression and GAD and BDP do you mostly feel hurt and sadness?

I have been diagnosed with all three plus adult ADD. It seems very hard to feel anything but anxious, sad, lonely overly sensitive, hurt, with physical pain in my chest and throat, and just not wanting to move or sometimes even live most of the days. Does this happen to anyone else and what do you do about it? I do go to counseling once a week and take medication but it does not seem to help.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I’m sorry that you are struggling under the weight of so many things at once. Anxiety can be a symptom of depression as is sadness and Borderline is almost bound to produce depression and is responsible for the sensitivity and hurt so it may be connected in places. ADD on top of the other 3 must be a nightmare and I don’t know how you’re coping at all.

Often in complicated cases the best way to tackle them is to treat the symptoms rather than the diagnoses. CBT therapy is good and covers a wide range of problems and DBT it’s closest relation is designed specifically for BPD and can be adjusted for other things as well. I don’t know what sort of counselling you are getting but aim for a DBT group if there is one anywhere.

I don’t know what medication you are on what it’s for or how long you’ve been on it never mind did it ever work at all! All I can suggest is that you go back to the psychiatrist who diagnosed these disorders and get their further advice on what to take next.

A relaxation class would be good for you to learn how to manage and notice anxiety and tension in the body as soon as it arises and to be confident at tackling that on your own outside of the therapy sessions.

BPD is a hard thing to treat and it takes time, the DBT takes about 18-24 months to sort out and it’s hard work. You need to learn totally different coping strategies to the ones you are using now and it’s very hard to do that. Plus which if any crisis arises during the phase of setting down the bad coping skills and not yet having got enough of the new ones to cope they can run back to the tried and safe and known version they had before and lose the ground you’ve already gained. It’s tough.

One of the big lessons is to treat people in the grey areas of life not to make them wonderful or special and love them to bits then hate them the next week. That is very confusing signals for others who can’t see your emotional pain and don’t understand why you switch so fast. I think that BPD is possibly the worst diagnosis to get and it’s certainly very emotionally painful and isolating. Try to focus totally on the other person and not yourself, what will be best for them right now and how can you best help them.

Don’t give up, recovery is possible and lots of people have managed it, as you get older the feelings diminsh and you get more capable of self soothing and coping alone.

Thomas asks…

I need help getting tested for Adult ADD?

I’m 99% positive that I suffer from Adult ADD, I’ve the symptons and pretty much everything fits with my problems.
This is really taking a toll on my grades in college, I’m doing worse and worse each time and it’s really frustrating. I’ve tried looking for places to get tested, the closest I found was at Harbor UCLA Medical Center, but they wanted $600 for the testing and told me I had to wait until May to take the test. I’ve spoken with other places that could do it sooner, but they want either $700 or $750 for the testing, and that’s money I just don’t have. I have medical insurance, Kaiser Permanente, but they said that they do not pay for any testing. Basically, I’m S.O.L.
So is this my only option? Are their any other options out there that are more affordable? Can someone please help me get started in the right direction?
The reason why I want to get tested is so I can get certification which will help me in college and also help me get medication.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I have had a couple of friends that thought they had ADD and they simply went to their family doctor and discussed their symptoms and situation. They never took any tests but were required to keep a journal to document when and where they had their symptoms. Based on that their doctor made a diagnosis one way or the other. That was a couple of years ago so perhaps testing is now mandatory. But check with a local MD particularly since you do have insurance…unless you’re limited to Kaiser.

Helen asks…

Can someone explain to me in simple terms how/why stimulants help ADD?

I have very severe adult ADD. I have been on and off medication all my life for it.

Like ritilin, adderal, etc….

But I hate the way it makes me feel.

But sometimes when I really need someting to help me focus, I find that coffee helps a little – and gives a similar effect.

Why?

adultdatingexpert answers:

I don’t think the answer is known on a molecular level. The discovery was somewhat accidental. It was noted that barbiturates such as phenobarbital made persons with ADD hyperexcitable. Someone reasoned that if phenobarbital had a paradoxical effect, what would happen if we gave them a stimulant? And lo, it often worked. Certain stimulants have a paradoxical effect on persons with ADD. They are not sedating, but rather help the affected person to sustain a focus of attention.

Not every person with ADD tolerates medication. Please discuss the issue with your doctor. There should be a few alternatives that may help you. Good luck.

Donald asks…

Can someone explain to me in simple terms how/why stimulants help ADD?

I have very severe adult ADD. I have been on and off medication all my life for it.

Like ritilin, adderal, etc….

But I hate the way it makes me feel.

But sometimes when I really need someting to help me focus, I find that coffee helps a little – and gives a similar effect.

Why?

adultdatingexpert answers:

The theory is that the ADHD mind works slower and therefore has more trouble processing outside stimuli. Stimulants then speed up the mind allowing for information to be processed at a normal rate.

I don’t have add/adhd, but I’ve taken Ritalin recreationally. I find that it can stifle creativity when taking too little or too much. The right amount makes for euphoria.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Sexual Harassment

Michael asks…

Is this sexual harassment?

I was hanging out with my friends and one of my buds as a joke to be funny he went woo hoo nice ass as a joke to this much older women. He did it just to be funny and I said after isn’t that sexual harassment? He didn’t realize and felt bad after? Is that sexual harassment capable of lawsuits, felonies, or jail time? Or is it just rude?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexual harassment usually occurs in situations where one person has power over another. Examples are employer and employee, teacher and student, etc. However, it often includes situations in which a person is not entirely free to leave such as two employees who must work together.

What your friend did seems to be just rude. It wouldn’t involve lawsuits, felonies, or jail time unless he were to continue to do it. If he were to follow her around making sexual comments, then he might be charged with stalking, for example.

Charles asks…

Is this sexual harassment or no?

Right, don’t laugh. I was walking down the street with my friend and this big huge man, (he looked like a freaking basket ball player or something,) who I did not know, just came up to me and lifted me right up into the air, I was like WTH!!!! My skirt went a wee bit up :/ but luckily I had tights on. And then he started spinning me around, I was like put me down, oh my god!!!!!!!!
Eventually he did but anyway I was kind of scared, like was he going to kidnap me or something but I suppose, it was kind of funny, well most people might find it funny and him and his friends were laughing and me and my friend were just like what the F, then he went to lift my friend but we ran away.
Anyway, I’m not going to report him or anything but I’m just curious, would this be classified as sexual harassment?
P.s I really don’t know what category to put this in, I just put it in the top suggestion :/ sorry, if it’s wrong.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexual harassment law strictly involves the workplace, in particular when anyone in a position of power over you makes unwanted sexual advances or suggestions. What happened to you seems more akin to classic assault and/or battery, as the person was unknown to you and and gave no warning of the action, against which had you anticipated it you could have used force to prevent.

Http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sexual+harassment

http://definitions.uslegal.com/a/assault-and-battery/

Jenny asks…

Is calling someone “sweetie” sexual harassment?

Also is calling someone pretty, beautiful, hot etc sexual harassment?

adultdatingexpert answers:

No, sexual harassment involves obscene remarks or unwanted sexual advances. Using terms of endearment wouldn’t be considered sexual harassment. If you were bothering them and repeatedly saying that to them, when they’ve asked you to stop, it could be considered regular harassment.

Mark asks…

Is this sexual harassment?

I’m a female, and I work in a foundry. The company I work for has very strict rules on harassment of any kind. I’ll just go ahead and say here that I was also in the military and I attended lots of sexual harassment classes. This one though, I’m not so sure of.

Where I work, we get one paid 30 minute lunch break every day. There are two break rooms. One is for one section of the plant, the one I use is for the section I work in. (you CAN use the other break room , but it is full, so it’s really not an option)
A co worker of mine uses his iphone on speakerphone, on the loudest setting, & watches porn videos in the break room for my section. Note here that this break room is very small and everyone can hear it. He doesn’t attempt to turn it down and he proceeds in turning the phone around and shows everyone what he’s watching. I’ve said things like Gosh Jim, can’t you watch that in your car or something? Turn the sound down. And he just laughs and (and everyone else laughs as well..) keeps on watching it. This happens nearly everyday & I’ve been employed here nearly 2 years.
I’m on 2nd shift so all the big bosses are gone when we all go on break.
I’m not any religion or anything, so this is not a * religious * concern, it’s just, I wouldn’t have any issue with it were he to turn off the sound or use headphones. It disturbs me that he’s at work, getting paid to watch porno. I don’t think I should have to be subjected to hear porno while I’m eating my sandwich. If i wanted to watch porn I’d go watch it myself. If i wanted to hear it, I’d go see my boyfriend. I mean seriously, why does anyone bring that into the workplace??
Do I have a right to ask HR if this is allowable?

adultdatingexpert answers:

You don’t even need to ask HR–this is definitely sexual harassment. Sexual harassment, as you probably remember from your classes (I go to the same ones) must either violate the “reasonable person” test, i.e.: a reasonable person would be highly offended by hearing/seeing it, OR you must ask the person to stop the behavior, but they persist.

This definitely meets the second criteria, and arguably the first as well. It’s just speculation, but it’s likely he’s doing this to get your attention and that of any female coworkers. Also, aside from being plain creepy, this is just weird behavior. I’m a guy, I like porn, but I don’t feel the need to share it with everyone I know–especially against their wishes. Not to get into psycho-babble, but this guy sounds like he may well have a social or sexual disfunction, and as your classes may have mentioned, is a type of guy much more statistically likely to commit sexual assault or related crimes. That may be reaching a bit, but you can’t be too careful.

I think you definitely need to bring this up to HR. It is creating a hostile work environment, and is not something you should be subjected to against your will. Hopefully it’s just an immature thing that he does and he is truly oblivious that it is offensive. However, you’ve already asked him to stop; I think your next conversation about it should be with HR, not him.

I really doubt you’ll see any backlash from your fellow employees if you report him for something like this. In the event that you do, though, remember that negative treatment as a result of filing a sexual harassment complaint is treated in the same way as sexual harassment. If, for some reason, HR can’t or won’t put an end to the offensive behavior, or if they allow negative repercussions for you, your next step is to contact your district attorney. The DA has a staff whose sole job is to make certain that the local businesses maintain positive work environments. I seriously doubt that the DA’s involvement will be necessary, but it’s an option if you need it.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Adult Children Of Alcoholics

Charles asks…

Can anybody give me some ideas on drugs/alcohol and poor parental skills?

Im writing an essay on the causes of poor parental skills. So far I say that drugs/alcohol decreases parent’s ability to raise up their children because the judgment and common senses are weak.

Can you give some more ideas. And by the way, please give me CAUSES instead of the effects. Something about what addicted parents do.

Thanks in advances!

adultdatingexpert answers:

I am an alcoholic and mother of 2 adult children. I still believe that my common sense and judgment were good, it was my actions or reactions to different situations that were lacking. In other words, I knew the right thing to do but went about it the completely wrong way. Poor parental skills can also be a generational issue. Poor parenting is all I knew growing up but didn’t know it until I had to face my own shortfalls. It can be vicious cycle. Most times, it is learned behavior from generations before. Emotional and mental factors play a big part. Well meaning parents feel the need to go on no matter what or how. I found out later that if I didn’t take care of myself, how could I possibly take care of 2 kids. But I didn’t take care of myself.

Ruth asks…

Are adult children of an alcoholic more likely to become alcoholics then the general public?

adultdatingexpert answers:

There are a lot of family-environment factors that might make the child of an alcoholic an alcoholic themselves, but most kids avoid that fate. Things like “learning” to use alcohol as a crutch, just not having supportive and with-it parents and sometimes real anger/trauma/etc, and not having good role models or other satisfying ways to spend time, can predispose anyone to alcoholism.

The “tendency” to become an addict of *something* (not necessarily alcohol) does tend to have at least some genetic component though.

And actually, recent studies also tend to show that more male children of alcoholics will become alcoholics later than female children, but that’s only an increase in the ones who do go on to become alcoholics.

.

Lisa asks…

How do I stop being codependent?

I am codependent due to growing up in a family where a member was an alcoholic. I always feel like other people’s problems are my responsibility and I feel bad when they are sad/mad/hurt. I like to feel needed and if they don’t take my advice, I feel hurt. Their problems feel like a burden, stress me out and I need to stop feeling this way because I have no control over them.
How can I stop being so codependent?

adultdatingexpert answers:

As a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, now retired, and having a major part of my clinical practice dealing with chemical dependencies and co-dependents, I can most readily encourage you to find an “Adult Children Of Alcoholics” (ACOA) group, and attending regularly. They function with complete anonymity, just like AA, and it’s free, and you can come and quit whenever you please. Some groups are better than others, depending on the group’s members. If you live in a big or medium sized city, you might be able to find them under AA in the telephone book, or you can go by a community mental health clinic and ask them what they know about where the ACOA meetings are. Do be aware, however, that many psychologists and psychiatrists know absolutely NOTHING about chemical addictions or the families who suffer in them, so please, for your sake, do NOT let them become your counselor. And you don’t need psychiatric medications. Find the ACOA meetings and attend. You’ll be very glad you did. God Bless you.

Donald asks…

How would you feel if your child eats at bars during visitation?

In my state if a bar also serves food a child under the age of 18 may sit at and eat at the bar with an adult/guardian/parent. Our daughter is 12. My daughter has been spending at least one meal a weekend (she visits her father every other weekend) sitting at a bar to eat because her father refuses to get cable or an antenna and wants to watch sports games. So they go sit at the bar together.

What he’s doing is not considered illegal in our state or impairing the morals of a minor – they are eating a meal within legal parameters. Of course this is just info my daughter shares when she gets home from visitation.

Thoughts on ways to handle this? She’s not bothered by it because he gives her money to play the slot machine games. Oh, and if you are not familiar with me…he’s an alcoholic too. This is one more thing I’ll bring up in therapy but I just wondered how others might handle this.
For those of you that don’t know that backstory…he is an active alcoholic that believes drinking and driving with our child is OK. The local police will not pull over someone under suspicion of DUI as they “don’t have time to deal with that” – I have an appointment this week to speak with the chief. The state I live in also doesn’t care – at least mediation didn’t – that he has an alcohol problem. Unless he gets busted DUI with her in the car…it’s anything goes.
Also, I haven’t said anything bad about it. I think it’s retarded given his drinking and driving problem but it’s not on my time. Nothing I can do until he gets a DUI. I was just asking how others would feel about it. I think him getting an antenna and drinking at home would be safe – but hey, I’m just the “angry” ex wife, right?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Well, I guess I wouldn’t try to make a big issue about it.

If he’s leaving the bar drunk and driving with her……then he’s endangering her……there’s a MAJOR problem with that. That falls under the category of negligent child abuse.

Now, if they’re walking….fine. Not really a big deal. At least she’s getting fed. At least she is gaining prudence of this world.

I mean think about it…..she’s 12 years old…..I know many very SMART and very WISE 12 year olds….more so than adults actually….SO…..this might actually be a good thing for her….she’s gaining an awareness of lifestyles….she’ll be more understanding and wise to the world.

I understand that this is frustrating, but I would just try not to let it “get” to me….you know?

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Your Questions About Sexy And I Know It

Ken asks…

Is there a difference between being sexy and beautiful?

Does being beautiful mean that you’re sexy at the same time and does being sexy mean that you’re beautiful at the same time ? And what do guys like better? A girl who is sexy or who is beautiful?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes

Sexy means the person is sexually attracted to the person (wants to have sex with them). Sexy doesn’t always correlate to being pretty or beautiful. An example is kim kardashian, to me she is sexy but i don’t find her pretty or beautiful (compared to many other girls)

Beautiful means the person is not only sexually attracted to the person but also physically, emotionally and mentally. Beautiful doesn’t always mean just sexual or physical attractiveness, it can also mean mental attractiveness (intelligence and personality).. An example is beyonce, to me she is not only sexy but also beautiful as she has (what seems to be) a nice personality as well..

John asks…

What is the sexiest way to say underwear for girls?

Like when my boyfriend asks me idk what to say because I think underwear sounds silly and panties sound funny so what do you think are know what one is sexier to say,males answer too,what do you like to hear your girl say?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Panties, more sexy

Sandra asks…

How can I look smoking hot and sexy today?

I want to make my boyfriend get a boner so I want to look really hot and sexy. What should I wear? How should I act? Hair and makeup tips? I know this may seem a bit skanky but it‘s just for my boyfriend in privacy. Please help!

adultdatingexpert answers:

Tight jeans, low top lots of cleavage showing. Or short skirt killer heels, or skin tight leggings nothing underneath with a tight top no bra .Or you could do what i did to my guy

http://www.annsummers.com/p/unwrap-me-red-satin-wrap/18ototas1011044

i bought this wrap me from Ann Summers put a coat on and buttoned it up and said unwrap me …..his jaw was on the ground when he saw me nearly naked just the bow

and watch this to act sexy

Red nails red lip stick

He will be drooling good luck

William asks…

How to look sexy without showing an overwhelming amount of skin?

Hi! I was just curious if anyone has any ideas, tips, or opinions on being sexy without showing “the goods”.
Oh, by the way, I was aiming at women, but any opinions are welcome for either sex. Just a general curiosity question!

adultdatingexpert answers:

Guys and gals have different opinions about this subject I think. You can look sexy by what type of clothes you wear. You don’t have to expose too much skin to be sexy otherwise instead of sexy, they call you sl***. Try to wear clothing that compliments your body. Don’t wear too much make up either.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers