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Your Questions About Sexual Harassment

Mark asks…

Would this be considered sexual harassment?

If a guy said these things to a girl, would it be considered sexual harassment?:

- “You should go to bed every night naked-with me laying next to you”
- him telling the girl his penis size
- him telling the girl to not post more pics on fb b/c he would get aroused
- him telling the girl that he masturbates to her pictures on her facebook (fb)
- him saying comments like “yummy” on her facebook pictures
i’m asking this b/c this has happened to me and some of my friends
This is him talking to my face and I have told him numerous times to stop but he wouldn’t. I already blocked him on fb but he still says things like that to my face when we’re all out socializing (we have the same friends)

adultdatingexpert answers:

This is obviously sexual harassment, and continues to be sexual harassment even if you are not at work or at school. He is using sexual language to harass you. You just can’t get him fired or suspended if he’s doing it on the street, but it is still unwelcome and inappropriate.

You need to stand up to him and say in a very strong manner that you will not allow him to speak to you that way, that it is insulting and disgusting and he needs to stop. I understand that some people when they get nervous might smile or laugh, and if you are one of those people you need to try to control that because if you smile or laugh he may think that you are flirting with him. Tell him you’re not okay with him speaking to you that way and tell your friends that you are not okay with him speaking to you that way. If you have other friends who also get treated like this and who don’t like it, you should all gang up and approach him together.

Linda asks…

is this sexual harassment?

Im in 7th grade and the boys are in 8th So i was a little late packing up and my 2 guy friends kinda ttrapped me in between the desks and Lewis made me hug him so i did. Then i backed up and i felt Codys arms around my waist and he was tightly holding me close to him and i kept saying ” Stop! ” Then he finally let go. Than Lewis made the comment ” You shouldve grabbed her boobs” Is this considered sexual harassment?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes that is sexual harassment.

The sexual harassment is not the act but how it made you feel. If their advances made you uncomfortable like that, it is sexual harassment. It is very serious. No guy has the right to grab your boobs,or touch you in anyway unless you give permission. If you tell this to an adult, they will likely take the right course of action. I have to say, i am only 18 but if i had a daughter and some boys did this to her, i would be mad. Im a guy too.

Donna asks…

cases of sexual harassment in the workplace?

definition of sexual harassment

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexual harassment is unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment can include unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal, nonverbal, or physical conduct of a sexual nature.

Http://www.sexualharassment.ucla.edu/what_is_defs_ocr.html

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/employment/article37.asp

Susan asks…

is it a sexual harassment? who wins and why?

A male and a female employee have engaged in a two-year consensual relationship w/c ends. The male continues to attempt to get the female to go out with him on dates. When she doesn’t, she eventuallyfined by the male, who is her supervisor. She sues, alleging sexual harassment who wins and why?

please help!!!!

adultdatingexpert answers:

NO sexual harassment here what so ever. First, sexual harassment has to be UNWANTED … She proved by dating him for two yrs that she wanted it. Second, IF it were unwanted, than she has to tell him that.

She was probably terminated for poor performance. He likely has documentation on that.

IF it were wrongful termination, then she might have a claim on this and this only … But there is NO sexual harassment.

PEOPLE: no where in this story does it state that she said “No” .. You are making up things and adding things to the story in your own mind.

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Your Questions About Adult Adhd Symptoms

Paul asks…

What are the most common signs of schizophrenia in young adults?

The additional information in this question is what has been going on with me latley and why I would like to know more about schizophrenia. It’s long and a bit weird lol.

I recently had a mental health assessment because I’ve been depressed and anxious for a long time with very little relief. I’ve gotten a bit paranoid about possibly having schizophrenia

The reason why I went is because I thought depression and anxiety were secondary to another problem.

I started thinking like this because anti-depressants were doing nothing for me and CBT counselling wasn’t working for me either. I was failing to establish a routine and had not seen it as effective.

I first thought I had Bi-polar disorder and then ADHD and then Aspergers Syndrome and finally schizophrenia.

I got a lot of self recognition when reading about ADHD and I believe there is a good chance I have it so do some other people. But trying to find out that you have an illness and obsessively reading about it on the internet is a bit strange.

When reading about the prodromal stage of schizophrenia I got scared. How would I know if this is a possibility for me. I don’t hear voices or hallucinate but sometimes I might hear someone call my name although I do have terrible hearing and I have to be more alert because I have a hard time hearing this happens on a rare occasion in fact it’s only ever happened about 5 times in my life.

I am also shy and introverted to the point where it affects me in work and in social situations because I’m introverted I spend a lot of time thinking about things and trying to figure out my problems and how to tackle them. I have been se engrossed in trying to find out what’s wrong with me and I wonder if it’s worse than I thought.

adultdatingexpert answers:

You’re more than likely suffering from anxiety. You will see symptoms for diseases that you think that you have because you will try to root out answers for your problems. It’s very easy to jump to conclusions when we are under stress.

However you shouldn’t take the opinion of a stranger on the internet too highly on such a serious subject. You should go see a doctor and have them determine a proper diagnosis. Just try to be more self aware of yourself and don’t give out symptoms that you “might have” like the voices that you occasionally hear.

Good Luck.

David asks…

Can anyone shed some light on Adult ADHD? Which treatment is preferred – drugs or therapy?

What is your personal experience with ADHD?

adultdatingexpert answers:

It’s always difficult coming up with one-size-fits-all answers for ADHD questions. Because ADHD is not a one-size-fits-all condition.

First off, it is a syndrome. As with other medical syndromes (such as diabetes), symptoms are variable. In other words, ADHD can present differently among individuals who have it. Some have the hyperactive subtype, for example, and some the inattentive — very different symptoms. (Yet all subtypes respond to the stimulant medication.)

Second, symptoms can range in severity from mild to severe. For people who are on the mild end of the spectrum, awareness and compensatory strategies can sometimes help a great deal. Changes in diet (protein in the morning, a “Zone”-type diet, etc.), morning exercise, sufficient sleep, “externalizing” structure in the form of physical planning systems, organizational strategies, etc…..these can all help.

But when symptoms are moderate to severe, I agree with the previous responder (“thready,” I think it is, but the screen won’t let me check without losing my response!): Medication will be the foundation for any other strategies to take root. Adults who are late to the diagnosis often benefit from ADHD-focused therapy that helps them let go of counterproductive coping skills and develop more constructive ones.

It’s important to educate yourself first before pursuing an evaluation for ADHD or treatment. There is much misinformation on the Internet — and even in some clinicians’ offices. So, be a smart mental-health consumer.

You can learn more at the National Resource Center for ADHD: http://help4adhd.org/

I hope that helps,
Gina Pera, author
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?
Http://www.ADHDRollerCoaster.com

Lisa asks…

Are doctors very reluctant to prescribe or diagnose an adult with ADD/stimulants?

I was never diagnosed and have some symptoms, just curious. And would like to hear some peoples opinions?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Are you kidding? Doctors make a fortune off of the psychopharmaceutical industry! They LOVE ADD, ADHD, ABCD etc patients!

Chris asks…

Would my Father being a sociopath, would that increase the chances of me having a similar mental illness?

I’ve previously asked if the symptoms I show could possibly mean I’m a socio/psychopath.
Would my Father being a sociopath, could that be the source of whatever my mental disorder is?
I know I have some sort of ant-social weird disorder thingy like that, and I’m fine with that. I’d just like to know what it is and why it is.

adultdatingexpert answers:

That depends entirely on what disorder your father has. If it is genetic and caused by a normal gene then yes it would make it more likely you would have it. If the gene is recessive it makes it a 50% chance you have the same disorder if the gene is dominant, and your dad is heterozygous. If the gene is dominant and your father is homozygous, you will definitely have the disorder. If the gene is recessive, then your mother would also have to be a carrier for you to have it. If your mother is a carrier and your father is affected and it means your dad must be homozygous thus meaning there is a 50% chance you have the disorder. If your mother is not a carrier and the gene is recessive, you cannot have the disorder. If however the disorder is caused by a mutation (like down’s) then that would mean your dad having it is irrelevant to whether or not you get it. It might be that you don’t have a disorder, but your father being a “sociopath” has affected you. If you haven’t been diagnosed yet (i’m assuming your an adult, or a teenager) then the chances are you have one of the following disorders:
ADHD http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd
asperger’s syndrome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
bipolar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
schizophrenia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
schizoid personality disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
schizoaffective disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoaffective_disorder
schizotypal personality disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder
autism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism
PDNOS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDNOS

sorry it was such a long answer. Hope it helped :) i wish you all the best

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Your Questions About Sexy And I Know It

Ruth asks…

How to feel comfortable and look sexy taking your clothes off for a guy?

I know this sounds really dumb but I‘m a little self conscious and i just want to feel sexy and not have to worry about feeling uncomfortable or not sexy. And whats a real sexy way to take your clothes off for him?

adultdatingexpert answers:

When you are someone new you will always feel uncomfortable around them until you know they truly like your body. However, just acting confident will help you, and make him believe you embrace your body, which he will totally love! If it helps, wear something which makes you feel sexy.

Men love women’s bodies. All the different shapes and sizes! You are taking your clothes off for him, so to him, you will be unbelievably sexy.

Taking your clothes off for him really depends on what your wearing. I recommend just taking your clothing off, and leaving on your underwear and bra. Next let him feel your body. Then take off your bra. Next up, turn around and let him see your behind! Then take your underwear off slowly. Some guys may also give you instructions on how they would like to see you take your clothes off!

Hope this helps !

Paul asks…

What to you defines sexy and is it different from beautiful?

A guy friend said that my best friend is beautiful and sexy or has sex appeal and said he thinks those are two different things. I understand how he says she’s beautiful, but what to you is sexy or is there a difference? I feel like it the same as when guys call girls hot vs. cute and say it‘s different meanings.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Flowers are beautiful and we don’t classify them sexy. So are the beauty of sunrise and sunset.

There are beautiful pictures, and some are framed with sexy frames.

There are sexy sculptures all over the world (http://www.oddee.com/item_97097.aspx)

Girls and guys are beautiful and handsome if they are generally clean, well dressed, and cheerful.

Many mums has lost their beauty through the ravage of time, but they are sexy enough because many tell tales of their husbands insatiable desire to make love to them. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/05/sex-life-better-with-age-_n_1184962.html)

So dear lady, if you care for your grooming and the way you carry yourself, you’re naturally beautiful.
And if you have developed B&B (up there and down there), you’re sexy. (That does not mean you’ve got to show it to every guys you meet. Just show it to your husband will do.)

Helen asks…

What is the sexiest and hottest female zodiac sign ?

I just want to know which is the sexiest female zodiac sign in your opinion . I‘m an aquarius and I‘m soo jealous of the scorpio women , ‘cos they have this ‘thingy’ in them that draws attention . Sometimes I wish I were a scorpio . Anyway please leave your comments and no rude replies xoxo

adultdatingexpert answers:

Your right about the scorpio thing. Im a scorpio and everyone always tells me im different and stand out in a group. Men are drawn to me as well. Scorpios are rare individuals and a lot of men do like them. They are also known to be great lovers. So scorpios are the sexiest and hottest sign

James asks…

What is the sexiest thing a woman could do?

Men, what do you think is the sexiest thing that a woman could do to get you interested in them. Where do you ‘pick up’women? What do you look for?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Omg, i once saw this hot girl in a sleek, long, sexy, red dress eat a strawberry. To this day it is the hottest thing i have ever seen

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Your Questions About Adult Swim Shows

Chris asks…

adult swim show?

ok i need the name of this show its about a guy who was the greatest detective and was drugged and turned into a kid. and teams up with this loser detective to solve crimes but not to blew his idendity. any one know the name of it.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Its called case closed and in japanesse its detective konan
But they dont give it on adult swim anymore the only anime shows they do show are:
-Inuyasha
-bleach
-death note
-code geasse
-shin chan (if it is anime)

Daniel asks…

what are the worst shows to come on[adult swim].?

i have to say:
tom goes to the mayor
tim and eric awesome show great job
look around you
pee wees play house
moral oral
pj’s
cant think of anymore right now but i know there are some more.
i knew i forgot something!!!
the crappy dubbed anime.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I watched Adult Swim a lot on vacation once because for some reason it was the only thing besides sports and news my tv got there. Some of the shows are retarded and I think that they’re mostly for people on drugs. I imagine it would be funny to them.

However, I like Family Guy, King of the Hill, Venture Brothers, and I’ll watch Clerks if nothing else is on. To y’alls who don’t like Venture Brothers, it’s just that the ones they usually loop on Adult Swim aren’t that good.

Ruth asks…

What is the [adult swim] show…..?

That has the short fat kid with the man boobs who meets a tall skinny blonde afro surfer? It is set in California, after his mother moves there for a new job. I can’t remember the name and it’s killing me.

adultdatingexpert answers:

I didn’t know it was from [adult swim].

It’s called Good Vibes. I saw it on Mtv yesterday. It’s pretty awesome(:

Paul asks…

need help remembering an adult swim show?

sorry I cant be very descriptive about it because it’s been awhile since I have seen it. I think it was 3 years ago and it would come on around 2 in the morning I think,but there was this boy and it was daylight i believe and he was in this neighboorhood and there were kids around and I think they saw the boy as crazy? I only remember that much but I remember it freaked the crap out of me.
Its not oblongs,this show was kind of a mystery/horror show i believe.
It was Paranoia Agent, sorry. But thanks for the help everyone

adultdatingexpert answers:

Was it fooly cooly? It was an anime that was on adult swim. He had this crazy thing that came out of his head.

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Your Questions About Sexual Harassment

Ruth asks…

will this be considered sexual harassment?

I am a boy in 8th grade. we are a small class, and the guys tend to mess around with each other. So today, my friend was leaning over to help another kid on the computer, and I hit him on the butt. Not extremely hard or to hurt him, but just to mess around. My teacher saw and I have to tell my parents and talk to my principal. My principal does tend to overreact, and he does not like me. The thing is, I am EXTREMELY sorry for what I did and I have told the kid sorry and everything, and my teacher accepts that. But I am wondering, will my principal like report me to the police? and is this considered sexual harassment, even if it was fooling around?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexual harassment is not a crime, it is a workplace or other type of issue. What you want to worry about is sexual ASSAULT charges. Since everyone concerned is over it, you shouldn’t have to worry.

In your principal’s defense, he is REQUIRED to provide a school environment free from harassment or abuse. He has to act quickly and decisively to prevent any harassment or bullying. Kids have DIED over such seemingly simple matters.

The lesson here is “DON’T”

Helen asks…

What is the sexual harassment definition?

I need to know all about the sexual harassment in the hospitality industry.

adultdatingexpert answers:

There is sexual harassment and then there is a hostile work environment. You may experience one or both of these. Check http://www.eeoc.gov

It can include unwanted unwelcome sexual advances, inappropriate touching (does not have to be sexual), and gender-biased remarks like, “Women don’t belong here, they belong in a kitchen at home.”

You need to understand what sexual harassment is NOT. Asking someone out on a date is not harassment, telling someone they look nice is not harassment, put downs (unless based strictly on gender) are not harassment.

Before pursuing anything you’ll need witnesses and need to be able to establish some evidence that this has happened to others. Without a clear direct evidence, it’s your word against theirs and you’ll get nowhere.

Because you have a limited time in which to file a complaint (not a lawsuit even, just a complaint to resolve this), you should contact your state Human Rights Commission and the EEOC immediately.

Sandy asks…

When does creepy become sexual harassment?

An older guy in my group at work acts creepy towards the one lady in the group. She’s not a young hottie just ten years younger than the older guy. But the creepy guy is always jumping into conversations for anyone but for her he’ll do things like make slow deliberate hello taps on her shoulder. Or make up excuses to touch her shoulder like you have lint there or nice blouse. One day he even followed her to her car to comment on her cracked windshield that she had mentioned once two weeks ago. Or one time he mentioned that he knew that she didn’t go straight home yesterday because she turned left instead of right out of the street the company is located on. So how do you know if this is just creepy or would it qualify as harassment?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexual harassment is any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature directed against another and the conduct affects the individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates a hostile environment.

It is important that the person to whom these acts are directed should inform the harasser that the acts are unwelcome and must stop.

Lizzie asks…

Is this sexual harassment?

On my bus, there’s this 7th grader who’s just stupid. I hate him, and he’s just, UGH.
But for the past few months he’s been making sexual remarks about me and him. It just grosses me out, and today he said something I don’t want to post, but it made me go home crying. I’ve told him over and over to go away, and today I told him to screw off, and he turned that into a sexual remark. I think this is sexual harassment but I’m not sure, so is it? What should I do about it? I’ve already told my mom and she didn’t say much about it. :/ what a help right?
Thanks for answering.
Sorry wrong category.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes it is sexual harassment. Anything that makes you uncomfortable or is unwelcome of a sexual nature is sexual harassment. You should tell someone at your school right away. They will deal with the problem accordingly. It’s unfortunate that your mother won’t help you, you deserve much more than that. Go tell someone at your school, a teacher, a counselor, the principal, anyone in the office, as soon as possible and they will make it stop. If whoever you talk to doesn’t do anything about it, then keep talking to other people at your school until it gets solved. If that doesn’t work, talk to a friend’s parent that you trust and let them know you want this to stop. This is wrong on the boy’s part and he needs to stop.

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Your Questions About Adult Children Of Alcoholics

Susan asks…

. How important in a child’s development is it for them to be raised in the most affirming and positive enviro?

what 5 question can i ask a grandparent about…
How important in a child’s development is it for them to be raised in the most affirming and positive environment to them?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Well yes I think it is very important for a child to be raised in a positive environment. But these days, children are being raised in very affirming environments where ‘no-one loses’, ‘everyone gets a prize’, ‘you’re not allowed to fail’, etc.
Children need to know that in life, sometimes your best effort won’t get your first. They need to learn how to handle disappointment and not getting their own way all the time. They need to learn that you don’t win every time. Otherwise they’re going to be disillusioned when they make their own way into the world as yound adults.
But as far as being raised in a positive environment, a child needs a happy and positive home. I was raised in a house with a negative alcoholic father and it is only now as an adult with my own children in my mid 30′s, that I finally have faced my demons and beome a happier more positive person.

John asks…

Can abuse from childhood affect you in your adult life? How, in what ways?

im in my 30′s im finally admitting that I do not deal with certain issues like an adult.really if I dont change I can self destruct and be only halfway living or….. I dunno. im usually running or hiding but now im tired of it and want to live. what do I do?

adultdatingexpert answers:

In response to your exact question, “can abuse from childhood…..”. YES, it not only can, it does. My father was abused as a child, and also joined the military and went into the Vietnam War to get away from the abuse(a whole ball of crazy wrapped into one person), and he became an alcoholic, and really just lived an unfruitful life. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and I know that a bad childhood can affect you adversely in adulthood. I know this seems like the obvious answer, but maybe you can go and talk to an objective party (a psychologist or qualified therapist) that can help you through this. I know that often times we all need someone to talk to that is not going to pass judgement, so maybe you should see someone who can help you confront what you’re dealing with. I wish you the best.

George asks…

How do you go about getting help for a “in denial alcoholic”?

There are small children in the home and it can be very hostile – a lot of yelling. Can the children be taken from the home by an agency? I can’t report this because it is a family member, but on the other hand I feel I should, since there is possible jeopardy involved. Talking does no good – everytime the conversation is turned around to deflect the truth.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes you should report this to the dept of family and children’s service in your area they will get involved and the kid probably wont get taken but they will be monitored . Do call them living with a drunk hurts the kids mentally and it can live with them thru there adult life making there lives hell

Maria asks…

What California law allows parents to serve their children alcohol for religious rituals?

There’s a statute somewhere on this website: http://leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html.
It provides for parents to serve their children alcohol for religious rituals.
I’m writing an essay on religious freedom, and would like the statute number (and link to the page) to use as reference. I’ve found it before but can’t find it now.

adultdatingexpert answers:

There is none. California Business and Professions code 25658 provides the following:

“Every person who sells, furnishes, gives, or causes to be sold, furnished,
or given away, any alcoholic beverage to any person under the age of
21 years is guilty of a misdemeanor.”

The only “exceptions” to this law deal with possession, not consumption. There are three of them and they are found in BP 25662. One is for law enforcement to send decoys in to buy alcohol, another is for possession by an employee (like a waitress) and the last one is to deliver it to a parent or responsible adult relative.

But there are no statutory exceptions for consumption for religious purposes.

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Your Questions About Sexuality

Linda asks…

Can hormones change your sexuality ?

I’m a teen, and my hormones are fluctuating like crazy, to the point where my doctors are concerned. I was born female but I always had this notion that I should be a boy but I always suppressed that. Now I’m out as a trans guy to my family but I still identify as female :/ for the sake of their emotions. So it’s hard to be specific on what gender I am. Bear with me. Ok. So I began life living as a heterosexual, appearently. Then when I got into high school I realized I liked girls. I had crushes on guys before so I don’t know how this gay thing came up. But then all of the sudden I felt completely unattracted to guys. So I just simply settled for being a lesbian. Then as I got older I realized that I really needed to be a man. I had been suppressing these feelings for a long time and I just.. Burst. So now I identify as a trans guy (on and off– it’s complicated) but I feel like I’m a male. And so I settled for thinking of myself as a straight guy, but I still identify as a lesbian to everyone who knows me. And well recently I’ve been having these gay fantasies (about men). I’ve actually fantasized about homosexuals for a very long time. Like since the sixth grade. Never thought I would ever be apart of the LGBT community. But anyway, these gay fantasies were reawakened. And now I’m not completely unattracted to men anymore, I actually long for a male partner. Idk. Apart of me feels like I’m lusting for a man because I really really want to be one. But then I think of myself in the future and if I’d be comfortable with dating a guy. OHMYGOD this is so freakin weird to talk about, I know it’s hard to undrrstand. God!! The point is, I’m pretty sure I’m becoming bicurious or Heteroflexible. I want to know what the hell is going on? Can it be my raging teen hormones? Or am I just lusting after men because I want to be one? I still like women. But … I don’t get how sexualities change. Is that normal? For sexualities to fluctuate?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexuality can fluctuate especially when your hormones are raging and unstable, I mean when I was young I went between guy crazy and girl crazy so much it was nuts. I tended to stick with dating girls but I had guy crazy periods.

Also once you start testosterone at a later age you’ll find that can alter your sexuality. I mean I started oestrogen at the beginning of this year identifying as lesbian, I now identify as bisexual and to put this in perspective I’m now 20 so my hormones are pretty stable. I know a transguy who started testosterone identifying as straight and is now identifying as gay, cos hormone can flip sexuality or alter it.

William asks…

depression over sexuality?

im 17 and have been depressed the past few years. ive only had two gfs and im highly nervous about how i act or look in front of people. i feel like no one likes me and im out of place or something and lost love for myself. as ive tried to think of an answer to my depression, my sexuality came up. can anyone give me some feedback on any sexuality struggles throughout their past life and relate to what im saying?
i cant bring myself to talk to anyone about the way i feel. i cant liberate myself…how do i do that?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Hey kid,

*hug*

Your sexuality is not mutable. There is no such thing as a sexuality struggle — the struggle is to accept or not accept yourself. There are powerful forces in the society that tell you not to accept yourself if you are other than straight — but they are wrong.

So, it really depends on what you mean by your sexuality came up.

Actions do not equal sexuality:

So, having sex with women, and even more, having girlfriends does not make ANY man straight;

Having sex with men on the other hand, does not make ANY man gay.

It’s feelings — what actually turns you on? What do you (when you aren’t trying to control yourself to fit into some laughable stereotype) desire sexually. Do you feel love and romance and safety (again, with no coercion on yourself) when you are with females, or would you prefer it with males?

Asking yourself those questions will start the process of bringing you to a point of knowing who you are. There should be no struggle — but when you have fought yourself, or when you are afraid — which you clearly are — there is a process of discovery.

You are wonderful, just as you are! You are worthy of being loved — by whichever gender is natural for you to like. You are special and unique in the world! I am sorry that you are depressed. I hope you will feel better soon.

My email is in my profile if you wish to talk to someone who will listen, and will never judge you, but just try to be there for you.

Kindest thoughts.

Blessed be,

Hermes

Jenny asks…

question about mu sexuality?

i know for a fact i like guys cuz i haad a bf, but i think iam crushing on my female friend, but i cant be sure, how do u know wat sexuality u r? i dont know for sure if i am stait or bi please help!

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexuality is more of a continuum– statistically, very few people are absolutely heterosexual, absolutely homosexual, or absolutely right in the middle, and most people are not the same number all their lives. People change, people experiment.

Something called the Kinsey Scale can help you gauge where you are on that continuum. I’ve linked to some resources on it.

Ken asks…

Sexuality and the sign of Cancer?

Is Cancer a very sexual sign? How is sexuality expressed through the sign of Cancer?
I feel like there’s a very primal kind of sexuality tied to this sign, but I rarely see this discussed. Cancer is ruled by the Moon and is therefore associated with nourishment through a variety of means. The Moon is of course linked to the Mother, an archetype that can be argued to inherently imply sexuality by its very nature.

Any insights?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Firstly, we have to acknowledge that Cancer is just one of 12 signs. And that every human being is a combination of all 12 signs, houses and 9 planets in a unique formula expressed succinctly in a birth chart.

Now, Cancer is the sign of the Moon – and the Moon controls the mind. The mind is where we hold our desires. Therefore the sign of cancer has many many emotional desires. However Cancer is the 4th sign, making it akin to the 4th house – a place of privacy. Therefore Cancer is very private and protective about its emotional desires. Cancer is not typically the type of sign walking around in fishnets and advertising her cleavage. Of course as I said every human being has a unique birthchart, but we are talking about Cancer achetypically and abstractly as a sign.

As you note, the sexuality of Cancer therefore has a somewhat wholesome or private feeling to it – similar to the benevolence of a mother. Cancer is a very juicy and voluptuous sign with lots of curves and it is the sign connected to the breasts – which are of course very “sexy” being intrinsically connected to child-rearing and thus, biologically to sexuality.

In the 8th house / sign from Cancer is Aquarius, ruled by Saturn. This is another indication that Cancers do not advertise their sexuality, but keep it rather sacred and special and thus even more desirable than the easy pickins.

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Your Questions About Adults

Ken asks…

tired of adults?

who here is tired of adults that think they are so much better than teens. i know i am

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes, many adults think they are better than teens. It’s wrong. You can relate to teens on a personal level and learn from each other. Much of what teens know, many adults forget. Teens have passion, and strong feelings about what is right and wrong. Too many adults become cynical and jaded about life. Your question is valid, I think, and more adults should read it. Thank you.

Sharon asks…

What’s an adult size?

I always see people about their weight and sizes and they say something like: “And in adult size, I’m a ….”

What is that? An adult size? And what’s the difference with adult and junior sizes?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Junior/Adult sizes are the same. Jean sizes are 0, 2 , 4, 6 ,8 , etc…
Kid jeans sizes are like 8, 10, 12, 14, 16. A 16 jean size in kids is pretty equivalent to a
0 in adult/juniors.
And the shirts for kids and adults are the same but obviously different sizes.
For example, a small adult shirt can be equal to a large kid shirt, see what im saying ? (;

Linda asks…

safeguarding vulnerable adults legislation?

Is there any actual legislation for safeguarding vulnerable adults?
i’m in the UK,
Thx :)

adultdatingexpert answers:

The idea of a vulnerable adult is a little vague. Are you concerned with mentally challenged, handicapped, drug abusers, alcoholics or other.

Do you have an example to which a more suitable answer could be given? Do you want to give an example?

The notion of a vulnerable adult seems to only arise when that person is charged with a crime.

Take for instance the recent events where a young man with a low mental age was coerced into attempting to suicide bomb a restaurant. He in fact managed only to explode the detonator in the toilet, wounding only himself and scaring the life out of the restaurants customers.

Was he guilty of the crime, most definitley, was he capable of planning this event, most likley not, was he coerced, most likley.

The problem comes when you look closley at the history of this individual and the problems he has had growing up. It becomes harder to treat this person as an actual criminal and more of a victim. He is not capable of reasoned thought above that of a 7 year old, he is easily manipulated, and on the whole, pretty stupid. Our concerns are now for this person, how he was so easily controlled. The answers to these questions place this categorize this person as a vulnerable adult. Unfortuatley for all concerned, it is rather too late!

A vulnerable adult will most likley have been a vulnerable infant to begin with. A good home, solid education and firm moral teachings are luxuries of the intelligent and as I have said on other responses, you have to start good to get good. A child who has low intelligence requires greater attention, better guidance. If it is not available to them, what chance do they have.

If you are looking to dig deeper on this subject, then your local police would be happy to discuss the issues and legislation . They would be able to offer information about how a young adult would be treated under certain circumstances and you could offer the example you have on your mind, rather than let everyone here on Answers know.

After all that, have I helped?

L

Jenny asks…

Adults and teens?

Does anyone know how many teens get in car crashes and how many adult get in car crashs

adultdatingexpert answers:

Adults get into accidents, but that’s only because there are so many more adults in the first place. On average, however, teen are more likely to have an accident, simply because they don’t yet have the experience behind the wheel that the average adult does. Of course, if you don’t let them drive, then they’ll never get that experience – and an adult who is just learning to drive is even more dangerous than a teenager – their reflexes are much slower, and they don’t learn new motor skills as quickly.

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Your Questions About Sexting

William asks…

Sexting……………………?

I saw a show on MTV a while back this kid was caught sexting and had to register as a sex offender and go to therapy as would a sex offenders with other sex offenders. So he’s in therapy with rapist and child molesters. Do you think this is right?

adultdatingexpert answers:

I’m sure there are more details to this story than your question includes but…

1. If he was a minor sexting other minors, than no. He’s stupid, but doesn’t belong in the same category with true sex offenders.

2. If he was an adult sexting minors, then yes. He is a potential threat to others and should have to register and attend therapy.

The exception might be if he was a very young adult sexting a minor that was not much younger. For instance, an 18 year old sexting a 16 or 17 year old is an idiot, but not necessarily a pedophile. In that case I think a swift kick in the head by someone close to him might knock some sense into him, but he shouldn’t have to register as a sex offender for life.

Keep in mind that my answer is only an opinion of how it SHOULD be. The reality of the legal system is that it is not always reasonable or fair. Some laws are far too strict and punishments are ridiculously severe for minor crimes. And in other cases, dangerous criminals get off far too easy for very serious offenses!

Helen asks…

Is this considered sexting?

so im confused about what “sexting” actually is.
is it sending revealing photos of yourself or someone else around?
or is it texting like…texting someone riskay and dirty words?
**could you please give me an example of something that would be considered sexting?

my guy friend and i were joking around and said some dirty stuff, and when i told my friend, she told me that it was sexting.

also, im a 14 year old girl. could i get in trouble for doing that…?
oh, i know, i would never actually send nasty pictures of myself. a guy asked me to one time, but let’s just say i haven’t talked to him since. haha

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexting is words and pictures.
Speaking sexually to a person over text msg is sexting.
Sending revealing photos of yourself via your phone is also sexting.

The written word will only get you in trouble with your family and maybe your friends.
Pictures, at your age, will get you and him in trouble with the law.

Do NOT send anyone anything that you would not want being displayed on a billboard at a family reunion. Be safe. Be wise. Make good choices.

George asks…

Would it be considered sexting?

If you don’t show nudity just like you in underwear. or even asking for pics but not getting them illegal?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Sexting is the same concept as ‘internet sex’ just with the use of a cell phone. Whether they are fully naked, partially naked, or you don’t have a picture at all, if there is sexual conversation during which masturbation is taking place, this is sexting.

Hope this helps! God Bless!

Donna asks…

whats considered “sexting”?

like what if its a picture of someones butt… like showing a cut they got..
just wondering.. age matters also?
what if both ppl are 18, and the picture is of an injury the other person caused, but like of ones buttcheek only…..

adultdatingexpert answers:

“Sexting,” is the act of sending a sexually explicit photo/video message via your cell phone.

And any nudity involved, no matter what your intent, would be considered sexting and no matter what your age.

However, when it involves those who are underage, child pornography laws come into the picture. It’s fast becoming a risky thing to do these days.

Edit…if your of legal age what you do with your cell phone is pretty much your own business, just make sure the behavior does not in any way involve a minor.

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Your Questions About Adulthood

Mary asks…

How can adoption affect girls when they reach adulthood?

How does adoption and being placed in foster care affect girls once they reach adulthood, in terms of their personality, behaviour and how they view th world?

adultdatingexpert answers:

My bdaughter has low self esteem. She has never felt like she belonged and even though we have been in reunion for 10 yrs, she still feels this way.

Robert asks…

What are some of the factors that affect social development in adulthood? What is a midlife transition?

What are some of the factors that affect social development in adulthood? What is a midlife transition?

adultdatingexpert answers:

Im guessing social development in adults could be effected by mental illnesses such as depression or addiction and paranoia. To me, to develop yourself as an adult, u have to socialise with others, by attend courses, groups, seeing your friends etc as you are always learning and developing when you have new situations or talking to your peers. If u suffer with depression, addiction or paranoia, to name a few, in my experience, you tend to shut the world away so therefore becoming a recluse.

Ruth asks…

What should the age of legal adulthood be?

Please don’t say 18, which is still a baby in society. I think a person is truly grown when the brain is finished developing at 25.That’s when the brain reaches adult level and society would be better if people did things when their brain are prepared for things.People rushed to adulthood in the past and did things when their brains weren’t developed so they messed up society. I feel like the age for adulthood should be 25 or 30. Since the life expectancy is increasing, it wouldn’t be bad.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Legal is 21

Michael asks…

Does adulthood come with the burden of figuring out what to do with life?

It seems as though I have been existentially frustrated by the thoughts and I’m still only a teenager.

I can barely handle the absurdity of it all now, how am I ever going to survive the pangs of adulthood if that is what it begets?

I will be surprised to have lived through the thoughts of suicide past 18 years.

adultdatingexpert answers:

Yes, and goes with figuring out what it was all about. Existentially frustrated…pangs of adulthood….thoughts of suicide: you are alive.

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